Anyways, the pin cushion.. Upon having our third baby, Tim and I are incredibly sleep deprived and trying to adjust to having three. Anyone that knows me well, knows that I am an incredibly deep sleeper and can fall asleep just about anywhere, if I'm tired enough. I used to sleep on the bleachers when I was younger at my Dad's football games. When I worked in a barn, I took my breaks on a bale of hay. Multiple times in college people put food into my mouth when I was sleeping through movies with friends. If I'm not moving around, I fall asleep just about anywhere. This is dangerous with small children. Every afternoon we do "quiet time," in which the two little ones sleep and Charlie plays with Legos in my room, or in this case, explores the house if I fall asleep. As I passed out into a deep slumber one afternoon, Charlie started exploring through my desk and found my pin cushion for sewing. He proceeded to "pin" the entire carpet in the basement. Lucky for us, the pin head colors blend perfectly into our indoor/outdoor carpet:/. As I awoke out of my deep sleep I found Charlie, proud of his work in the basement. We picked at least 25 pins out of the carpet, but that being only about half of my original pins. Charlie, magically, can't remember where the rest went. As I for-warned Tim yesterday, he told me that he had already gotten one in the toe.
Remember to wear your shoes in the basement if you come to my house!
These are the moments you don't think about or could never dream about when you say "I do." It would be funny if someone told you at your wedding, "you'll have three kids, who will rock your world, and your house/life will be a vague resemblance of what you dreamed about having." Haha. Now this might be a funny story to you all, but imagine Tim waking up to a pin in the foot. Let me tell you, it's not a funny moment in a state of total sleep deprivation, you probably want to kill someone. It's not just this small moment, but all the moments like this, that really have the potential to push you over the edge, especially with kids.
This is exactly why I'm thankful that God has put me in this life with Tim and my kids. I really didn't want it, like REALLY didn't. I walked away from my first fiancee, a serious relationship that would have been lifelong and included kids, because I didn't want to be married and tied down to anyone or anything. After years on my own and following my own dreams, God made it crystal clear to me that Tim was His plan. Now at the time, did I think...This is the guy! This is perfect. This will fulfill all my hearts desires. No way. Although, it did help, I thought he was incredibly good looking! I feel like it was more of answer to a call, to lay down my life for another. Don't get me wrong, I do not do this perfectly, but it's all about the pin cushion. Those moments that, suck. Those moments that are really hard, really uncomfortable, and make you want to run away from it all. I believe these are the moments God wants our minds to ask why? Why is this happening? The pins in the floor are the perfect example for me. It made me super mad when I found out what Charlie was doing. I wanted to cry, "why would you do this when we have a little baby I have to put on the floor, we all like to walk around barefoot, and have no energy without sleep to find all the pins?!" That isn't the point, I have the choice to freak out or to let God redeem my thoughts and actions. He wants me to learn patience and forgiveness, the essence of our walk with Him and others. Wouldn't more patience and forgiveness with our spouses and kids, change our world? Instead of focusing on our differences or false assumptions or mistakes, we could move positively forward with patience and forgiveness.
Maybe this is just where I am at.
Hopefully, I will step on a lost pin and it can be a reminder to face the hard stuff. Patience and forgiveness with people who will never be perfect.
Isn't it amusing this pillow is heart shaped? Ha!
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